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Taggart Law, LLC

You are here: Home / Archives for Blended Families

Who’s Minding the Kids?

July 24, 2020 by Gregory Leave a Comment

Better put, that question should be, Who has the authority to mind the kids, particularly when the parents or guardian are out of town or otherwise very much indisposed, for a short period? In Utah and many other states, the answer is the person who holds a power of attorney specifically delegating temporary authority over the minor child or children. In Utah, that period can be no longer than six months:

A parent or a guardian of a minor or incapacitated person, by a properly-executed power of attorney, may delegate to another person, for a period not exceeding six months, any of the parent’s or guardian’s powers regarding care, custody, or property of the minor child or ward . . . UCA §75-5-103 (and no, I didn’t put the hyphen between properly and executed)

This temporary power of attorney is a nifty little tool that could come in handy for the babysitter or the nanny if the minor child needs to see a doctor or must have permission to do something at school, and the parents are (way) out of town or out of touch. And it’s a pretty simple document, at least the form on the Utah Court’s website is. (I wish I could say Wyoming allows such a delegation of authority, but I’m not sure yet. When I know, I’ll report back.)

My wife and I have one for three of our grandchildren and will have for the rest of them soon. Of course, we’re trustworthy and have a track record with minor children. So should the person(s) you grant such authority to. As handy as the temporary power of attorney is, it is not something to give away willy nilly.

Filed Under: Blended Families, Guardian, Minor Children, Stepfamilies, Temporary Power of Attorney, Utah

Seminar this Wednesday: Estate Planning for Blended Families

April 4, 2017 by Gregory Leave a Comment
I’ll be presenting a seminar at the Orem Public Library on Estate Planning for Blended Families.
When                 Wed, April 5, 7pm – 8pm
Where                Orem Public Library, Media Auditorium (map)
Description       Couples with blended families face special challenges when it comes to making sure that stocks, bonds, real estate, and other property and family heirlooms go to the right persons at the right time when a spouse dies. This seminar will address such issues and discuss ways to solve them, using wills, trusts, and other estate planning documents.
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Hope to see you there.
Filed Under: Advance Health Care Directive, Blended Families, Divorce, Estate Planning, Estate Planning 101, Health Care Power of Attorney, Life Insurance, Living Will, Stepfamilies, Trusts, Wills

Dear Annie, Estate Planning is Hard, Especially for Blended Families, Which is Why People Shouldn’t Do It on the Fly

March 1, 2017 by Gregory Leave a Comment

Annie Lane apparently writes an advice column for The Daily Courier in Prescott, Arizona. Today she gave some advice to a woman who was having trouble coaxing her second husband into doing some estate planning. After explaining that she has a college-age daughter and telling how happy she is in her 2nd marriage and what an otherwise perfect husband the new guy is, the woman writes,

He is so generous and dedicated, but this is one subject he will not deal with. We have no will or trust, but I get the feeling he would be fine with anything I would want to arrange financially. As far as what to do with our bodies upon death goes, though, that’s something we would need to decide on together. Even though I am older than he is, my family has a history of living long, and his family does not. And there is always a possibility we will go at the same time in some kind of accident.

So we have a second marriage, at least one child–a stepdaughter of the husband–a husband who is at least a few years younger than the wife and who is still passionately engaged in a career he loves. The family of one of the spouses has a long lifeline, the other a short one. Apparently plenty of money. And the wife seems pretty certain that even though he won’t talk about estate planning, the husband will be fine with anything she suggests.

Yeah, right. Especially when money’s involved.

And Annie says?

Fortunately, you seem equipped to tackle this challenge on behalf of you both.

Tell your husband that you’ll prepare a draft of the will and that he can simply sign off on it or make revisions before it’s finalized. My guess is that he’ll be relieved. Once the will is behind you, you’ll have the peace of mind to enjoy the rest of your lives together even more.

Where to start? Well, first there’s the idea that just anyone can draft a will. Of course, they can–and LegalZoom and its competitors are there to help. But really? The weeds can get pretty thick and high very quickly when you have some money, are in your 50s and 60s, and have grown children and stepchildren. I’ve been there and done that, and if you want hard, there it is–in spades.

Next, there’s the idea that where there’s a will, there’s a way out. But not so fast. Yes, it’s better than nothing, but there’s the little matter of stepchildren–his and probably hers. Who gets what–especially when it sounds like it’s really all his–is a question that needs to be addressed big time, preferably sitting in the office with an attorney with oodles of experience in dealing with blended families.

And then there’s the fact that a will is only the first in a long line of estate planning documents that virtually everybody should have in order, including trust, an advance health care directive, a financial power of attorney, and so one. Add to that the fact that though the couple probably have their minds around a number of issues in their financial and family life, there’s certainly a lot that they don’t know they don’t know. A good attorney can help them see those problems and issues.

I do agree with Annie on one thing: The woman having a will drafted and presenting the draft to her husband may bet him moving on the subject. But don’t do this alone.

My take anyway.

 

Filed Under: Blended Families, Estate Planning, Stepfamilies, Trusts, Wills

Estate Planning Seminar at Pleasant Grove Library

February 13, 2017 by Gregory Leave a Comment

I’ll be presenting a seminar on DIY — Do It Yourself — Estate Planning at the Pleasant Grove Library on Wednesday, March 8, 2017 at 7 PM. Come an enjoy the discussion. The address is 30 E Center St, Pleasant Grove.

If you have a question about wills, trusts, and other aspects of estate planning, maybe I can answer it.

Filed Under: Advance Health Care Directive, Ancillary Probate, Basis, Blended Families, Charitable Giving, DAPT, Decanting, Dynasty Trust, Estate Planning, Estate Tax, Guardians, Health Care Power of Attorney, Insurance, IRA, Life Insurance, Living Will, Power of Attorney, Probate, Stepfamilies, Succession Planning, Tax Court, Trust Protectors, Trusts, Wealth Transfer, Wills

How to be Happily Ever After Even After

October 6, 2016 by Gregory Leave a Comment

Naomi Cahn, a law professor at George Washington University, has some good advice for those who’ve recently parted ways with their spouse. You can read her advice in her piece “Protect Those You Love in Divorce, and Remarriage,” posted at Slitopia. If you find yourself a member of the recently divorced, I recommend you read it.

Filed Under: Blended Families, Divorce, Estate Planning, Stepfamilies, Trusts, Wills

Are Prenups are for Lovers?

April 13, 2016 by Gregory Leave a Comment

This is another, in a series, of posts that feature articles I wrote for Wealth Manager and other magazines. I actually had a lot of fun writing this one, Broken Vows, Solid Contracts:

For many–if not most–love-struck couples, the words “prenuptial agreement” are anathema, a blanket so wet that it threatens to extinguish their burning love for one another. “Forget that!” they chorus. “We’re in the mood for love!” So, rather than engaging in an important financial discussion before they marry–when they are most likely to treat each other fairly–they wait until the end of their marriage, when they’re least likely to do so. . . .

Enjoy.

Filed Under: Blended Families, Bloomberg Stories, Contracts, Divorce, Estate Planning

Just Say So

March 29, 2016 by Gregory Leave a Comment

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Sometimes feel confused? Wonder why the left hand can’t understand what the right hand is supposed to be doing? Imagine what your family will feel like the day after you’ve passed on to the great beyond, then think about how a well-drafted trust might clear things up for them.

I’ve written more than a few blog posts about trusts, about the legal elements necessary for a trust to be enforced, about five reasons you may need  a trust, about decanting as a way to correct or improve a trust, about how trusts are an effective way to handle the issues that come with blending families, about using trusts to plan for disability, about the all-important funding step in the process of establishing a trust, and on and on. But it wasn’t until I was reading someone else’s blog post when it hit me (maybe because the writer kept repeating it): if you want something to happen when you die, just say so. Just speak your mind. Tell your loved ones what you want to happen. Tell them who gets what and why. Don’t hold your piece. Tell them now.

In essence, that’s what a well-drafted trust does. Tells them now, so they’re not confused later, so what you want to happen–happens.

Just say so. If you fail to do that before you die, life will get pretty complicated for your loved ones after you die. Trust me.

Filed Under: Blended Families, Business Planning, Estate Planning, Family Business, Farms and Ranches, Stepfamilies, Trusts, Wealth Transfer, Wills

Two-Year-Old Granddaughters and Estate Planning

February 23, 2016 by Gregory Leave a Comment

My entire immediate family was in town for the last five days. My three children, my son-in-law, and my one grandchild–a two-year-old girl with lots to say and not enough words to say it.

Now actually, what I just wrote is true and not true at the same time. What I just described is that part of my immediate family that has my blood flowing through its veins (no, my son-in-law, doesn’t, but you get my point). I also have four sons by marriage, three daughters-in-law, and four more grandchildren, plus two very much on the way. I love them all and treat them as my own. That part of my family–colloquially known as my stepfamily–presents estate planning issues, issues I’ve discussed elsewhere and which I’ll return to in the future.

But today it’s that two-year old. She’s sparked some thoughts on the nature of estate planning. Sure it’s about the immediate future. I want my wife taken care of should I die. I want to pass something on to my children. I was to avoid taxes if possible. And on and on. But what about the two-year old? What do I do about her, if anything?

My daughter, her mother, turns 40 a month from tomorrow. Forty years old. Her little girl won’t be 40 for 38 more years. Will my estate plan be durable and well-thought-out enough to have an impact on her life? I most likely won’t be around then to make it happen. So what can I do?

Two thoughts come to mind: trusts and life insurance. Both tools have more permanence than I do. If set up and funded properly, both can be there when I can’t to make sure my hopes and dreams for my granddaughter are fulfilled. Yes, I could rely on her parents–and I might–but if I absolutely, positively want my hopes for her fulfilled, trusts and life insurance are the tools of choice.

How are you going to insure that your dreams for your family come true?

Filed Under: Blended Families, Estate Planning, Life Insurance, Stepfamilies, Trust Protectors, Trusts

Not Everything or Everyone has to, or will, Blend in a Blended Family

November 3, 2015 by Gregory Leave a Comment

To those couples who’ve decided to blend their families and to those who already have, know this: Just because the two of you fell in love, doesn’t mean your children are going to fall in love with each other or with your new spouse. While you wait for that to happen–if it ever happens–shoot for like, for tolerate. Pray that they’ll be kind to one another. But don’t insist that your children–the children who’ve already suffered through the divorce or death that turned you into a single person–don’t insist that they love one1805-Gillray-Harmony-before-Matrimony.2 another, not right now. Love, even like, takes time.

So hope, pray, and work to the end that they will at least tolerate and be kind to one another.

And then do your best, your very best, to model for them the way they should treat each other. You do this by treating your new spouse–the new love of your life–the way you hope they–the newly blended children–will treat each other. Then be patient because becoming friends, especially when each child is struggling to fence off his or her space in a new family, is not easy.

Yes, be patient. You are the adults after all.

Filed Under: Blended Families, Estate Planning, Stepfamilies, Wills

Hard Questions Make Strong Foundations: Estate Planning and Second Marriages

October 27, 2015 by Gregory Leave a Comment

The day my wife and I finally met with our estate planning attorney, Don Owen, was anticlimactic. We sat across from him, my wife Janet to my left, Don sitting on the other side of his desk. We were there to resolve what we then realized were thornier issues than what we had imagined when we began the process, issues that most families don’t face–because most families aren’t blended families.

Very wealthy couples deal with estate planning issues most of us can only imagine. Business owners whose companies make up the bulk of their net worth likewise confront estate planning problems foreign to those who work for someone else. Add to that list, couples who head up blended families. In fact, maybe put them at the top of the list. Courageous, often twitterpated, souls, these couples enter into second marriages and all the responsibilities that entails and deal with some thorny problems. Often, many of those problems first make their appearance years down the road. For my wife and me, they made their appearance when we decided to do some estate planning six years after we married and joined my three and her four children together.

The idea to do some estate planning was mine. I stood to inherit some money from my grandfather’s estate. He’d worked hard and invested well, and he’d set up his estate to benefit his children first, then his grandchildren when his children died. His children were now in their late 80s and 90s. I wanted to make sure that when they died, and after both my wife and I died, my share of my grandfather’s estate would pass on to my children–his great-great grandchildren. I wanted to keep the Taggart family money in the Taggart family. My wife was fine with that. And so I set up an appointment with DonHermanWeissFamily600 to get that done. This should be easy, I thought. Silly me.

Facing the Facts. For couples in second marriages, estate planning can be difficult, more complex. Think about it: Each party comes into the marriage with their own assets; their own debts; and often, their own children–sons and daughters who have their own special needs, often known only to their biological parent. Add an “ours” to the mix of yours and mine, and the family photo quickly goes out of focus.

Frequently, at least one but probably both of the step-parents have made promises to their own children, promises that often involve dollars and cents. Maybe one parent made a promise to pay for college or for a car when his child graduates high school. Maybe the other guaranteed a trip to Europe if her  young son or daughter graduated college.

All too often such promises were made in the heat of the battle in the previous marriage. No matter, already feeling guilty about a failed marriage, the parent making the promise will not drop this ball. Not this time. His or her promises, wise or unwise, will be kept. No more disappointed children. Nope.

And so it is when the newly married couple finally decides they should do some estate planning. So it was when my wife and I  sat down with Don Owen to make sure that promises we had made were kept–to each other and to our children.

Like I said, the experience was more intimate than sex.

Why? you ask. Well, try this list of issues on for  size. One or both of us had:

  1. Made promises to our children.
  2. Made promises to each other leading up to marriage.
  3. Insecurities created or exacerbated by the previous marriage and not yet fully healed by the second.
  4. Secrets that had yet to be discussed with the the other.
  5. Allegiances that were at the time stronger to blood than to water.
  6. More insecurities, as in, will this marriage last?
  7. Age, maturity, and wisdom not present the first time around, thus a willingness and ability–and need–to look beyond the unicorns of true love and ask the hard questions.
  8. Etc.

Now this list isn’t particular to my wife and me. I suspect most anyone in a second marriage can see at least some of themselves in it. The point is, parents in blended families face lots of issues that in-tact families typically don’t. But that’s only part of the story, the hard part. But can I tell you, what I had anticipated would be a cake walk–at least I did after my wife said she was fine with what I wanted to do with my inheritance from my grandfather–turned out to be a slog. Not because my wife was hard to deal with. She wasn’t. In fact, she was a gem. No, it was a slog because the issues grew more complicated the deeper we probed, one question leading to another and then another. When we got to the end of the slog, I was amazed, both at what an experience it had been and at how refreshing it was to have done it.

Reaping the Benefits. It gets better. If the planning is hard and the issues complex, the aftermath is long lasting and satisfying. With each hard question asked and answered, a stronger bond forms between husband and wife. As each secret is revealed, trust and respect grows. In the end, the new marriage stands on a more firm foundation. I know ours did.

I don’t have any statistics to support the following claim, but I have to believe that good, thorough estate planning will strengthen the marriage of the man and woman who blend their families. It did ours. It can do the same to yours.

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blended Families, Estate Planning, Stepfamilies, Trusts, Wills
10.0Gregory Hal Taggart

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